Lennon's test for echo.

What too much echo will do to you.

That John Lennon sure was a creative guy, wasn't he?  With and without his buddy Paul McCartney, he created some of the most creative and classic rock tunes known in the universe.  With Yoko Ono, he alienated and confounded a lot of folks, but he still remained true to his own artistic vision and did whatever the hell he wanted.

During his Beatles tenure, John found that he really liked the echo effect on his voice.  Apparently (according to whatever tale you read and/or choose to believe) Lennon was self conscious of his own singing voice and felt a little more bolstered with having a bit of echo thrown on top.  It wasn't as obvious in the beginning, but by the time 1965 and 1966 rolled around and the Fabs became more creative in the recording studio, John was all about the echo.

Under George Martin's tasteful guidance, the echo was pretty cool.  Once the Beatles disbanded, however, the effect turned into a different sort of beast.  Lennon was suddenly throwing it all over everything, and producer pals like Phil Spector were only too happy to indulge him.  It's right there on "Mother" on Plastic Ono Band.  It was ladled on in gallons on "Give Peace a Chance" and only held back slightly in a more compressed, gated effect on "Cold Turkey."

"Instant Karma," "Power to the People," "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" and even the old favorite "Imagine" are echo city, baby.  And if that wasn't enough, John also loved to throw in greasy saxophone solos that bogged down the tubes.  Hey, have you ever heard "Beef Jerky" or "Touch Me"?





I think the sound of the tree falling in the latter says it all, really. Hoo boy.

So how many compilations have The Who released, anyway?

Good question, kid.  Let me tell you.  I always knew the answer was "a lot," but I never knew just exactly how much that lot was until I was perusing The Who's web site just now and checked it out.  So, as of April 28, 2011, The Who have officially released the following number of compilations (including box sets, special limited editions, etc.):

TWENTY

That's not even including soundtracks like the one for Quadrophenia, Tommy, or The Kids Are Alright, which are basically old Who tunes you know and love regurgitated in new or different forms.  It's also not counting live albums, such as Join Together or Who's Last.  So, if you want to include those, feel free and inflate that total even more.  Note that this number does include the Magic Bus LP as it was the very first US compilation.

Amazing, isn't it?  That the band was already being compiled and resold right after their third LP (the UK got Direct Hits as their first comp).  But above and beyond that, how many freaking times can you sensibly compile the same tunes and expect people to buy them?  Why not just let new generations of Who fans sit through Meaty Beaty Big & Bouncy or The Who's Greatest Hits and take it from there?  Those were both fine and solid collections that are still an enjoyable listen to this day.  In fact, the latter was my first Who purchase and did a pretty fine job of showing me the scope of what the band was all about, beyond "My Generation" or "Who Are You?"

But I guess once you get into that rut, you just have the tendency to do it.  Universal must think the kids are not all right and need a new Who compilation every few years to make sure no one forgets about the band.  Which leads me to wonder what the sales are for these various comps versus the actual albums of "new" material the band recorded from The Who Sing "My Generation" to ...well, I was going to say It's Hard, but go ahead and throw that boring Endless Wire one on the pile as well.  I'd say certain comps easily outsell those last two studio albums.

There must be a market for such a commodity, else why would Universal keep cranking them out?  Is the "regular" Who fan just someone who wants the hits and nothing more?  I suppose that makes some sort of sense, like owning Who's Next and Tommy and a greatest hits album, much like a casual Pink Floyd fan may only own Dark Side of the Moon and Wish You Were Here and/or The Wall and that's it.  Do casual fans want to hear nuggets like "Mary-Anne With the Shaky Hands" or "How Can You Do It Alone?"  Probably not.  For them, "My Generation" and "Won't Get Fooled Again" are probably good enough and the rest of the hits in between, maybe say "Pinball Wizard" will perk up the ears and make them feel like they spent their money decently.

But have there been other bands that have gone through a similar thing so obviously?  The Who's '70s output wasn't as regular as a band like The Rolling Stones.  And god knows the Stones have had their fair share of compilations, too.  Just looking at the Wikipedia entry for their count of compilations...it says they've had...

Thirty-One.

All right, so maybe this whole post is pointless.  Fuck you, Rolling Stones.  Fuck me sideways.

Reviews from the Spark Plug - Lou Reed's Mistrial

 Lou Reed

Mistrial

Rating: **

Lou originally wanted to call this one Lou Shits A Really Good One, but RCA wouldn't hear of it, especially after they let Lou jack off on the previous album cover.  So Reed bitched up and down and called it Mistrial instead.  No one bought it, even though Lou was clearly humping a drum machine on the tracks and trying to get into the dance clubs.  No one wants to dance to Lou Reed.

Reviews from the Spark Plug - Led Zeppelin's In Through the Out Door

Led Zeppelin

In Through the Out Door

Rating: ****

One year at a costume party, this really fat chick came dressed as Bette Midler and decided to sing "South Bound Saurez" on karaoke. Let me tell you, it was a real disaster. She air pianoed at the beginning, and then kept yelling, "Hey everyone, let's move those tushies!" at the rest of the crowd. She had chocolate smeared around her mouth and she smelled like bad marinara sauce. Some guy in his late 60s wound up making out with her on the sofa. She'd fart every now and then and he'd just keep going on about how much that was turning him on. It was one fucked up party.

New podcast episode is up!

...and we're finally back. And, there's Camel Ike podcast episode up, all shiny and new. So get hit that shit, won't you?

Pardon the absence.

Sorry, gang. I'm still here and intend to get back to regular posting schedule, but the past few days I've had a doozy of a cold that also managed to slap me with a low grade fever for a couple of days. So blogging and podcasting have not been at the top of my list of things to do. Rather, blowing my nose ad infinitum and trying to relocate my sense of taste have. But I'm here and we'll be all back to normal shortly. Danke.

Reloading your iPod is a bitch.

When you have a lot of music like I do, loading up all the shit you want on your iPod is a time-consuming activity. Doesn't matter how fast your transfer rate is, the simple fact is that it's insanely annoying. Well, I had the misfortune of having to reload my iPod Touch last week.

The problem was my videos. They weren't showing up on the screen when I pressed the video button. The screen would just go white for a few seconds and then crash to home screen. I looked up the problem online and it seemed a lot of other people had this exact same problem, yet Apple itself hasn't been able to figure it out.

Well, I figured it out.

It seems the more stuff you have on your iPod Touch, the longer it takes to access the list of videos and display said list on the screen. After I completely wiped my iPod, I added back my videos first just to see if they would load. They did without a hitch. However, once I started adding on more and more songs (in the thousands, people), it was taking longer and longer to cough up the videos until I was basically back to where I had been pre-wipe. Only difference was this time I didn't re-add the shitloads of apps I had also had on there so instead of always crashing back to the home screen, it now just took three or four attempts to get the video list to load.

It's still annoying as piss and shouldn't be a problem at all. Especially when I have the 64 gigger. There's tons of space left open and why the damn thing struggles to load 29 videos up and doesn't bat an eye at loading thousands of songs is perplexing.

But on top of that, the time it took me to put all those tunes back on was scattered across three frickin' days. I'm still tinkering with it, too, by putting back album art and the like that iTunes cannot seem to find, even though some of those things I bought straight from it. Go figure.

Camel Ike podcast returnz!

After a week-long hiatus, the Camel Ike podcast has returned to groove you. So get get grooved, won't you?

Reviews from the Spark Plug - Steely Dan's Can't Buy a Thrill

Steely Dan

Can't Buy a Thrill

Rating: ***1/2

 

You know what my favorite things are?  Bananas, hookers, lips, and electric sperm.  Guess how overjoyed I was when I first saw this album, then!  All of my favorite things right there on the cover!  I like the band's logo on his one, too.  It's almost like they were to be the Coke brand of rock.  I've noticed that girls who wear glasses and read boring shit like Tom Robbins books often like to be felt up while listening to "Midnite Cruiser" from this album.  So I guess they can't be all that bad, right?

Reviews from the Spark Plug - Jandek's Nine-Thirty

Jandek 

Nine-Thirty

Rating: *****

Jandek waits for the ice cream man.  What will Jandek get today?  Perhaps a Sno-Cone. Maybe a plan vanilla on a cake cone.  He might get risky and try a fudge bar.  He's thinking about it.  You can see the thoughts roll by in the tension on his face.  Undoubtedly, though, he will get what he always gets.  A cup of water and a napkin.

Reviews from the Spark Plug - Bowie's Pin Ups

David Bowie

Pin Ups

Rating: ***

Some friends of mine came over one night.  One brought along this red-haired girl who had some LSD in her compact.  She took a hit while we were all sitting around listening to Sesame Street Fever and playing canasta.  About a half an hour later she starts moaning and shit and says she's going to the bathroom.  Next thing you know she's screaming at us to all come and help her.

So we get into the bathroom thinking she has hurt herself or something.  Nope, she's just staring in the mirror pulling her hair back from her brow and pointing, yelling "Oh my god I'm Bowie on the Pin Ups cover!  Look at that!  Oh my god, I'm Bowie! What am I doing here?  I need to get back to London!"

So she proceeds to step back out into the living room and sings all of "Changes" in a slow croon, then runs outside to "make her flight."  She promptly collapses on the ground.  Before we can get to her to pick her up, the neighbor's dog walks by and pisses on her head. Classic.

Reviews from the Spark Plug

Scatological. Insane. Clearly stupid. Just what you want in a music review. "Reviews from the Spark Plug" is a new feature here that will be highlighting absolutely craptastic album reviews with zero merit that I wrote over at the rateyourmusic website. I've been over at that site since shortly after its debut. When I started, I wrote legit reviews that informed. After a while, though, the rot set in and I left along with my reviews.

When I returned, I decided to write the anti-review. The reviews were sometimes satirical or parodies of other reviews on the site, but mainly they were just over the top, childish and aimed at the lowest common denominator. But whatever, I love them and now I'm passing on the ridiculousness to you. If anything, these reviews may just prove that music critics really may not be that necessary if at all. We all know the story of The Beatles and Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, et al, but you don't know my version of it. Until now.

A corny song that I love.

The title says it all. Now dig it.

The Fleetwoods - "Come Softly to Me"

Lou Reed - Quotes of Gold

Lou always says it best. Take it, Lou.

"Gimme an issue, I'll give you a tissue. You can wipe my ass with it."

"We were pretty bad, and we had to change our name a lot. We played fraternities. People would vomit on your amp."

"Dylan was never around for me. But he did have a nice flair for words that didn't mean anything. They were just marijuana throwaways."

"I enjoyed those shows I did in London at the Rainbow, but I kept thinking that Frank Zappa fell seventeen feet down into that pit. I hate Frank Zappa, and it made me so happy to think about that."

"Musicians usually cannot speak. That's why they communicate through their instruments. But Frank was one who could. And because music is pure, the musician is pure as well and when Frank spoke he demonstrated the power of purity. Who will do that now? I admired Frank greatly and I know he admired me."

"Everyone should have a divorce once, I can recommend it."

"This is fantastic - the worse I am, the more it sells. If I wasn't on the record at all next time around, it would probably go number one."

"Show me a journalist who isn't a whore and I'll show you a man."

"I created Lou Reed. I have nothing even faintly in common with that guy, but I can play him well. Really well."

"This waiter came up to me in a restaurant and said, 'Listen, I write songs, what do you suggest I do?' I said, '"Let me hear them so I can steal them off you if there's anything good.'"

"My current designation as godfather of punk is shit, ridiculous. I'm too literate to be into punk rock."

"A punk is a misplaced hippie."

"Nixon was beautiful. If he had bombed Montana and gotten away with it, I would have loved him."

"I don't smoke grass and I don't like things that everyone sniffs off a table. That's tawdry, it's so common. I like to play with my system, alone. I'm into drug masturbation."

"The nice thing about New York is that you're anonymous. I mean, who wants to be known?"

"I like my trash to sound better than anybody else's trash, because I make records to sell records."

"I wanna be black, I wanna be like Malcolm X and cast a hex over President Kennedy's tomb. And have a big prick, too."

"Not everybody gets the chance to live out their nightmares for the vicarious pleasures of the public."

"I believe in all things in moderation...including moderation."

"I really love the farm, it smells great."

"I don't write for a rock 'n' roll audience. I write for adults...who listen to rock 'n' roll."

"It's very hard to keep it simple."

"Who else could make a scooter hip?"

"I've had reviews that say, 'Why don't you just die?' and it hasn't seemed to make any difference."

"I can't do anything outside of New York. It's death."

"Fuck Radio Ethiopia, man, I'm Radio Brooklyn!"

"Nothing beats two guitars, drum and bass."

How to properly rate Britney Spears?

So Britney Spears has a new album out called Femme Fatale. If I was younger, this probably would have irked me and I would have written out a not at all well thought out rant against it. But this is counter-productive. You can see enough of such "reviews" for the album over on Amazon.

Which leads me to ask, how does one properly rate or review a new Spears album? If you look at the entire swath of reviews on Amazon, you'll see that there is no middle ground for the most part. The fans love, love, love it, proclaiming it to be the album of 2011 and Britney's best yet (undoubtedly something they say every time she puts out a new one), and the people who don't like her write one-star reviews and bitch about how she's phony, the music is all auto-tuned and overly processed and takes no talent, blah, blah, blah. There is truth to some of those accusations, but at the same time the venom is guiding the way and not an objective set of ears.

As I get older, I get tired of seeing the same rants of "Music ain't what it used to be!" Music is cyclical. There will always be wheat and chaff, and radio-friendly pop tunes that you can dance to will always be frowned upon because there is no "artistry" or "talent" that goes behind such work. But if that were truly the case, then the shit wouldn't sell at all, and Britney's fans would have all grown up and forgotten her. But the thing is, Spears gets new fans with every new album. New, young fans. And that's the key. The people working behind her know this, as does Spears herself. Hell, she wants to maintain a career. Not even Federline and going nuts in public could derail her, so why would she suddenly start doing confessional singer-songwriter stuff? Lindasy Lohan tried that on her second album and we all know how well that turned out.

I used to not like Spears as well. I mean, I still don't like her music, period, but I don't dislike her for it. She's made a fortune out of what she's done and she continues to do so, so something's working in her favor and it isn't just luck. No, she can't really sing, but that's beside the point these days. The decade will continue and new old trends will rise and fall again and someday this will all repeat once more.

No more Phil Collins (!)

So, Phil Collins' doctor has advised him to quit playing drums lest he loses all functionality in them. Instead of balking, Collins has decided to quit altogether. Good.

I mean, not good that the poor guy's hands are in such a shape, but Phil is one of those dudes who used to make pretty groovy music and then decided to slide into a pool of sap and remain there for the last couple of decades. Elton John is also guilty of this. Perhaps he'll quit soon as well.

But when was Collins at his peak? In Genesis? Probably. Suffice it to say that the guy has always managed to mix crap with cool in his solo stuff. As a kid, I found his cover of "You Can't Hurry Love" charming. Now it just grates me. But at the same time, his weirdo impersonation of Peter Gabriel on "Thru These Walls" from the same album is pretty damn good.

Then again, there was that whole horrid "Two Hearts" and the Buster movie, "I Can't Dance" with Genesis, and his complete humping of the suck with his Grammy (TM!)-winning Tarzan tune. Oh well, I'll still enjoy "It Don't Matter To Me" from time to time.

Was there ever a bigger explosion than "I Saw Her Standing There"?

Light fuse - get away.

As countless teens dropped the needle on Please Please Me in 1963, the end had arrived.

Track one, side one. "I Saw Her Standing There." That was it.

Since then, has there been anything that came close to exploding so perfectly, turning the black and whites into full-on beautiful, vibrant color?

"One, two, three, FAHHHHHHHH!"

It was rock and roll unlike any that had ever been. Not even the previous singles of "Love Me Do" and "Please Please Me" gave any hint that this was it. No looking back.

Lennon's driving rhythm. McCartney's furious and exciting vocals and Chuck Berry-swiped bass line. Ringo's propulsive drumming that was air tight. Harrison's tasty licks that should have taught Dave Davies a thing or three about making a ballistic solo without fucking it up, but didn't. And those harmonies. Pow!

Think of everything that came after that count-off. The changes the world over encountered. It can never be done again. It was bottled lightning and it struck vibrantly for a few more years.

That it still sounds that essential and joyful nearly 50 years after the fact is reason to never forget it.

So don't.