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| By the time she got to Woodstock, the brown acid had taken over. |
Hey kids, do you remember Joni Mitchell? Well, if you don't, her big claim to fame with the younger generations is that she wrote "Big Yellow Taxi" way back when, a song that continues to be covered and re-covered by anyone who wants an instant, lazy hit. Everyone from Dylan to the Counting Crows have covered it. Of course, Joni doesn't think much of Bob these days, saying,
Bob is not authentic at all. He's a plagiarist, and his name and voice are fake. Everything about Bob is a deception. We are like night and day, he and I. (This is actually old news; check out the interview in which she says this.)
Anyway, to get to the point of this post, in recent years Joni has claimed that she is a victim of what is known as "Moregellons Syndrome," a so-called "disease" that supposedly causes those who have it to scratch areas of their skin uncontrollably to dig out microscopic fibers that may or may not be of some nano-technological origin.
Wacko, I know.
There's plenty of info online regarding said "disease," with most of it coming from conspiracy theorists and the like. Actual legitimate research has gone into this folly, with the expected results. Per the disease's Wikipedia entry, "Most doctors, including dermatologists and psychiatrists, regard Morgellons as a manifestation of known medical conditions, including delusional parasitosis.
And before we start scuttling about the usual jokes about Wikipedia being "unreliable," let's just remember exactly what we're talking about here and the folks who claim that it is, in fact, "real."
My suggestion to cure this incurable is to not listen to any Joni Mitchell music. You probably don't want to handle any of her CDs, LPs, tapes, or what have you, either. Those damn fibers could be anywhere, be it in the sound waves of her music or planted on the CD booklets at the factories just waiting to strike upon unsuspecting fans in a true game of GOTCHA that can only end badly.
Joni Mitchell is nucking futs.
