Two Legendary and Weird Rock 'N' Roll Moments

He had an idea.  Oh, yes.

1. Elvis Presley's "naughty first take" of "Blue Suede Shoes"

Elvis always had a randy sense of humor, and this was quite evident in some recent unearthed tapes of him recording Carl Perkins' "Blue Suede Shoes," which, of course became a big hit for him. But Elvis's first few attempts had him wanting to sing one of the lines a bit differently. The following is studio chatter between Elvis and the recording engineer.

Elvis: "Hey man, let's do something different with this one line."

Engineer: "Which one?"

EP: "Right here, where it goes 'You can burn my house, steal my car, drink my liquor from an old fruit jar.'"

E:  "OK, what did you have in mind?"

EP: "I thought it'd be better if I sang "Drink my pee pee from an old fruit jar."

E: "What?"

EP: "Yeah."

E: "I don't...I don't quite...'Drink my pee pee from an old fruit jar'?"

EP: "Yeah, man. Let's just try it. I wanna hear it that way and if it's no good we'll take it straight."

E: "All right...'Blue Suede Shoes, Take One.'"

And so Elvis runs through three incomplete takes of this version with everyone else busting out laughing every time. Apparently, Presley wasn't amused.

EP: "I don't know what you're laughin' at. This is probably gonna be a hit!"

Two more aborted attempts later, Elvis decides to record it the way it was written. The rest is history.

Sing about it loud and proud, Robert.

2. Led Zeppelin's sound check of "In My Time of Dying" in Chicago

Led Zep had been working and re-working "In My Time of Dying" for quite a while by the time this chestnut was recorded during a sound check in Chicago. During the big part where Robert Plant usually started his "Oh my Jesus" plea, this time he had a different idea.

"I'm gonna go for it all this time, Jonesy!" he says excitedly. Next thing you know, Plant starts chanting the following mantra, 15 times in a row:

"Oh my penis! Oh my penis! Oh my penis! Whoa my penis!"

This seemed more like something Jim Morrison would have done, but the band went right along with it, not missing a beat. After the song ends, Plant says,

"I'm all sticky. Yeah, groovy."

Weird.

Weird As Ever

My old pal Rollo Scarborough has recently opened up a new blog for anyone who's interested.  Because I'm groovy, and I pimp shit like that, check out Weird As Ever. Dig it.

Simulated Wood Grain Finish

This shit spread like herpes.

Kids today just don't know what they're missing sometimes.  I see the youth wax nostalgic for things like the '80s from time to time but they don't know the half of it.  The '80s were OK, I suppose, but nothing could beat the '70s and its fascination with "simulated wood grain finish."  A wood finish was the mark of having really made it back then, much more so than fine Corinthian leather or even a coke spoon.  No, man.  Wood grain was where it was at, and the best thing was you didn't even have to be rich to be able to afford its luxury.  Hence, "simulated wood grain finish."

TV manufacturer Zenith really stood by the simulation.  Hell, my folks had a big-ass Zenith color TV that came in a huge chunk of simulated wood destined to give everyone else on our street wood grain envy.  Even stereo manufacturers were getting in on the sexy faux wood action.  Lord knows all of this crap really went well with the vomit-colored shag carpeting and simulated wood grain walls we had in the den back in those days.

You could even wear it on your skull.

Some dudes even began sporting simulated wood grain hairdos.  Crazy, I know, but this stuff was blowing up and people were cashing in.  Hell, even auto makers were putting strips of the shit on the sides of their models to attract the discriminating driver.  You weren't anyone if your ride wasn't sporting some simulated grain, even if it made no sense whatsoever.

But my very favorite item that had simulated wood grain finish was the original Atari VCS.  Oh yes, I knew I was in the big time because my console looked like a fancy piece of furniture!  Screw Intellivision and ColecoVision and Magnavox's Odyssey 2.  Who cares which one had better graphics or games?  The Atari had the grain, baby, and that's all that mattered.  Of course, sometime in the early '80s there Atari decided to ditch the grain and go with a shinier black trim on the front.  It made sense, but it wasn't as swank.

The sexy beast.

Nowadays you can buy all sorts of cheap fiberboard crap (mainly at IKEA) that sometimes sports simulated wood grain, but it's not the same.  No one equates the stuff with awesomeness anymore.  You just look at it and go, "No, I want some real wood."  I can't blame anyone with this attitude.  I just hope it doesn't all make an ironically nostalgic comeback and begin getting popular with kids who shop at Hot Topic.  That would certainly signal the end of days right there.