Yes, I've been lazy.

Yes, it's the middle of June.  No, I haven't put up a podcast this month.  No, I haven't been writing on here.  I've been terribly lazy.  I've been in the process of getting ready to move, getting ready for my kid to finally get out of school for the summer, and just enjoying my laziness.  It's true.  Sometimes I just don't care.  We all get that way, especially when we have a blog.  That is, when we have a blog that we don't get paid to upkeep.

But we should do it for the love of it all, I know.  But when you're busy all day with your regular job and you get home and night and just want to flake out eating and playing video games, sometimes the inspiration just isn't there.  Plus, I've been spending oodles of my online time over at Yahoo! Answers, which I know I said I'd be incorporating into here from time to time, which I still will.  And I will get another podcast episode up and all that other good stuff.

Look, all I really want right now is some good Belgian beer and a sexy chick to bed.  Is that so wrong?  My grandfather always told me I should find a nice red-headed gal.  I've never done this in my 38 years.  Perhaps I should.  So far, everything else hasn't worked out and the last date I went on, while nice, was rather devoid of anything when it came to intelligence on my date's behalf.  Sorry if you're reading this, honey, but it's true.  You are the definition of a dumb blonde, but you said so yourself.  I shouldn't have to walk through the zoo with you and explain what every frickin' animal is that isn't the goddamn polar bear.  Plus you're older than me, fer chrissakes.  You should know some of these things.

And yeah, it didn't help that you thought Celine Dion was good and that you pronounced "tarot" like you pronounce "parrot."  These things are deal breakers.  It might seem snobbish, but dammit, I know what I want, and someone who does those two things is not on my list.  So it goes.  I mean, you're divorced as well and your husband must have had some reasons to leave you.  Maybe those two weren't amongst them, but still...he left.

OK, this is getting off track.  But it at least brings the rest of you up to speed.  The bottom line is dating in your late 30s is rigoddamndiculous and no one should have to subject themselves to it.  But I try.

"Let me take this one, Don..."

Welcome to the newest soon-to-be regular groove of Camel Ike. For those of you who don't know, Yahoo! Answers is the place any one can go to and ask the public at large pretty much any question that is on his mind. However, the best thing about the site is that it's also a great place to troll and be trolled.

"Let me take this one, Don..." will be featuring some of my fave answers that I've given under the moniker "Handy Leatherette." I spend a lot of time over in the Paranormal and Singles and Dating questions because I've found these two to be chock full of opportunities to entertain and be an ass at the same time.

So let's kick things off with a question entitled, "Is the Gettysburg battlefield stilled haunted to this day?) [sic] The answer I gave was actually chose by the asker as being the best. This will undoubtedly be a rarity as most people asking the questions over there have no sense of humor whatsoever. So, let me take this one, Don...


Is the Gettysburg battlefield stilled haunted to this day?

Happy June/New Podcast Episode Is Alive with Pleasure!

Welcome to June, 2011, people.  To celebrate, let's kick things off right with a new Camel Ike podcast. I'm sure you'll find it groovy. We even gave Julian Lennon a bit of attention back. He's been needing it, you know.

Akoo is a wonderful torture device.

This is the shizz.

Next time you're at your local mall's food court, check to see if it has various tv monitors and the sound system hooked up to Akoo. Akoo is a video music service that allows you to use your mobile phone to text your video requests in and then see them get played.

Of course, the real thrill is setting up your own account at MyAkoo and making requests remotely. Yes, you don't even have to be at the mall to enjoy abusing the service. I routinely enjoy setting up a long queue of absolutely shitty country music videos that will be be played to the food court's patrons and hopefully ruining their otherwise joyful meals.

Now, when I'm actually at the food court, I take it upon myself to request things I actually like, which most of today's mallrats probably won't, so it's still a ton of fun. Anyway, give Akoo a shot and see what terrible experiments you can try out as well. You're guaranteed to at ruin at least one person's day with some crappy music, and that's always a good time.

In honor of the surviving members of Pink Floyd finally putting their arguments to rest...

Here's a lovely video of some dudes covering "Comfortably Numb," the likes of which you've never heard.  Or seen.

"Comfortably Shit" is more like it.

Two Legendary and Weird Rock 'N' Roll Moments

He had an idea.  Oh, yes.

1. Elvis Presley's "naughty first take" of "Blue Suede Shoes"

Elvis always had a randy sense of humor, and this was quite evident in some recent unearthed tapes of him recording Carl Perkins' "Blue Suede Shoes," which, of course became a big hit for him. But Elvis's first few attempts had him wanting to sing one of the lines a bit differently. The following is studio chatter between Elvis and the recording engineer.

Elvis: "Hey man, let's do something different with this one line."

Engineer: "Which one?"

EP: "Right here, where it goes 'You can burn my house, steal my car, drink my liquor from an old fruit jar.'"

E:  "OK, what did you have in mind?"

EP: "I thought it'd be better if I sang "Drink my pee pee from an old fruit jar."

E: "What?"

EP: "Yeah."

E: "I don't...I don't quite...'Drink my pee pee from an old fruit jar'?"

EP: "Yeah, man. Let's just try it. I wanna hear it that way and if it's no good we'll take it straight."

E: "All right...'Blue Suede Shoes, Take One.'"

And so Elvis runs through three incomplete takes of this version with everyone else busting out laughing every time. Apparently, Presley wasn't amused.

EP: "I don't know what you're laughin' at. This is probably gonna be a hit!"

Two more aborted attempts later, Elvis decides to record it the way it was written. The rest is history.

Sing about it loud and proud, Robert.

2. Led Zeppelin's sound check of "In My Time of Dying" in Chicago

Led Zep had been working and re-working "In My Time of Dying" for quite a while by the time this chestnut was recorded during a sound check in Chicago. During the big part where Robert Plant usually started his "Oh my Jesus" plea, this time he had a different idea.

"I'm gonna go for it all this time, Jonesy!" he says excitedly. Next thing you know, Plant starts chanting the following mantra, 15 times in a row:

"Oh my penis! Oh my penis! Oh my penis! Whoa my penis!"

This seemed more like something Jim Morrison would have done, but the band went right along with it, not missing a beat. After the song ends, Plant says,

"I'm all sticky. Yeah, groovy."

Weird.

Weird As Ever

My old pal Rollo Scarborough has recently opened up a new blog for anyone who's interested.  Because I'm groovy, and I pimp shit like that, check out Weird As Ever. Dig it.