For Alex Chilton

 Dear Alex,

You're still dead and the world still needs you. This is belated, but so it goes. What the fuck does it say when a man such as yourself had to go and die because he couldn't get health insurance? I understand the situation; those assholes don't want to give me any, either. The "American Dream" is buried under piles of bird shit yet again. In the meantime, we still believe in the Jesus myth and burn books whenever possible.

I throw your tunes into my podcasts. I figure the first thing I ever heard of yours was "The Letter." I have fond memories of hearing "Sweet Cream Ladies, Forward March" being piped over the speakers at the local drive-in theatre. I didn't know that was you until years later. Always good to write songs praising prostitutes. No one does that anymore, do they? They don't really do much of anything anymore.

When I hear your songs, I hear a dude whom I wish I had personally known. We both being from Tennessee and all, both of us having a penchant for absolute weirdness at all times, coupled with the sincere appreciation of the elusive hook and/or melody. I keep wondering if all the kids Paul Westerberg introduced you to even got it. The hilarious beauty of "Guantanamerika" or the groove of "No Sex" or "Jailbait." You were doing it from the soul for the soul. Westerberg never even got close.

That chaos of "You Can't Have Me" pretty much sums it up. The fucked-up wah-wah bass colliding with the crashing drums spilling all over the place and the sax being strangled, trying to be heard in the din, which is odd considering how much literal space is there between all those notes. The epic failure of Big Star giving way to the idea that it didn't need to be clean. Afterward, there was Like Flies on Sherbert and no looking back.

You covered songs you loved, and you always made the idea of recording songs or making a record just fun. Who the hell does that anymore? The way the music biz is these days, we might all just get around to doing that sooner than later. Bieber even cut his hair. The girls cried just like they did for The Beatles, man. Somewhere, the Eagles still remain relevant to someone, too.

Anyway, you're only the second "idol" of mine whose death made me feel an actual loss (the other being Hunter S. Thompson). One of your songs will start playing on my iPod and I can't help but think you're still around to make some more. That was the best thing about you, dude. You were always there, just putting out an album here or there, every now and then, no big deal. But we always had that next one to look forward to somewhere down the line, and it was always a good thought to wonder when it was going to arrive.

So yeah, man. Save me a seat or give me a call sometime. We should definitely get together and catch up. You know where I am.

JT

Three musical honeys who made me go "RARR!"

When folks in the gay community are sometimes asked, "At what age did you know you were gay?", the answer is generally a pretty young one.  Ask a straight person the same thing and I figure you'll pretty much see the same sort of trend.  At least I can speak for myself when I say I knew I was straight pretty damned early on thanks to a trio of lovely pop ladies whom I became aware of during the peaks of their careers.

Donna's ultimately responsible.

Firstly, there was Donna Summer.  Once again, my older brother had a huge influence on me with his music collection in the '70s.  So when he brought home Donna's Bad Girls LP home and I heard "Hot Stuff" for the first time, that was rather earth-shattering.  What was also earth-shattering was how Donna Summer looked on the cover of that album.  Now, I was only around six when that came out, so I had had no prior knowledge that this chick had done the scandalous "Love to Love You, Baby," and had I heard that song at that time, I wouldn't have understood it, anyway, and probably would have found it silly to listen to (which it still is).  But the iconic photo clicked in my little noggin and "Hot Stuff" kept my toes a-tappin' and I was a happy lad.

Then there was sweet, sweet Debbie.

Shortly thereafter Blondie started making it huge with the Parallel Lines album.  I distinctly remember the first time I heard "Heart of Glass."  My dad or brother had taped it off the radio onto some cheap-ass cassette and again, the sound of that song like "Hot Stuff" just connected with me instantly.  And then my little eyes got to see Debbie Harry and the video for the song for the first time and that, my friends, really made an impression.  I don't care how damn old you were at the time or if you were straight, gay, or sideways, Debbie Harry was larger than life and everyone loved looking at her.  She was definitely the It girl of the late '70s, and when she was on The Muppet Show, how could it have gotten any better for me?  Amazing, I tell you.

Belinda was a dream back then.

Lastly, a short few years later, the Go-Go's arrived on the scene with Beauty and the Beat.  I was still in elementary school at the time and remember the high school marching band always practicing "We Got the Beat" outside all the time that year.  But for me, there was nothing better than "Our Lips Are Sealed."  I believe I heard the song the first time that I also saw the video, which featured Belinda Carlisle looking like this sexy, cute, pudgy sorta retro chick.  I was enamored with the ribbon in her hair and couldn't take my eyes off the girl the whole time.  Back then we had either Showtime or HBO and they'd play music videos between movies sometimes and that's where I first saw the clip and would always hope they'd show it again and again.

Out of these three ladies these days, I'd say Donna Summer has fared the best.  Debbie's aged naturally from what it looks like, and bless her for that, but it seems as if Belinda's had some extensive work done over the years.  She's still "cute," but not naturally.  Not the way she was originally, anyway.  Still, I'd like to thank all these gals for instilling those oddball murmurs way deep down before the adolescence kicked in and the hormones truly raged.  Kids these days really don't have much that naturally comes close to these women on the pop scene.  A shame.

I believe in Elvis Costello again.

I believe in Elvis Costello again, albeit because of a recording made during the prime of his career.  I love E.C. up to a certain point...let's say the Punch the Clock LP.  Then after that, nothing until Brutal Youth.  Parts of Blood and Chocolate, I guess to go before that, and bits of Spike afterward, and maybe barely a song here and there after that.

It's always struck me as odd how artists like Costello who can be some damned brilliant feel like they have to pursue these outright boring ideas and follow every whim that takes them farther away from what originally made them so great.  Elvis could easily crank out another Trust if not a My Aim Is True or This Year's Model.  I don't mean be punky and all, but fer chrissakes at least energetic and interesting.

Anyway, I dunno how I missed its release last year, but while I was browsing through iTunes last night, I saw that the entire Hollywood High show had been released.  Having been a fan of the three track EP culled from the show and released with the original LP pressings of Armed Forces (and later appended to the excellent Ryko reissue of the album), this purchase was a no-brainer.  The Attractions during their peak?  Hell yes, I want to hear 20 tracks of that, please.

I listened to Live at Hollywood High last night and wasn't disappointed with my ten dollar purchase.  It reminded me of why I love Elvis Costello and made me yearn for him to do something electrifying once again.  I know this probably won't ever come to pass.  The Juliet Letters was more of a warning shot that things were going to eventually go awry more than Almost Blue ever was.  And then of course there was the detours with Bacharach, etc.  I even saw the guy live a few years ago and the fucking show was mired thanks to his inclusion of Emmylou Harris.  Jesus.

But whatever.  This album is amazing and I dig it.  Thank you, El, for being amazing long ago.  Maybe it's time to start tooting again.

What do you do when your kid likes "Temporary Secretary"?

Look, I'm glad my six-year-old son loves music and has allowed me to influence his taste with all the stuff I dig. We'll always have the iPod on shuffle in the car and his ears will perk up every now and then and he'll get all excited about a song. Sometimes I'll think of a tune I think he may really enjoy and I'll play it for him.

Past hits have included the 12" mix of Thomas Dolby's "Hyperactive!", "I Am the Walrus" by The Beatles, "Fashion Zombies!" by The Aquabats, "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, "Autobahn" by Kraftwerk, "Guns on the Roof" by The Clash, "Victoria" by The Kinks, and so on and so forth.

Then there's "Temporary Secretary."

For those of you who don't know, this is a Paul McCartney tune originally released on his McCartney II album back in 1980, along with a 12" single release of the song in the UK. It's annoying as hell with its disjointed main synth riff, instantly putting one's ears on edge. I remember hearing it for the first time back in my high school days thinking it was just horrid. But as I got older, I found that same annoyance to be funny as well.

Too bad, then, that I decided to put it on the iPod and have it come up on shuffle the other week in the car with the kiddo in tow. I quickly hit the "next" button, but not before he could shout "What is THAT song? Go back! I wanna hear it!"

I hadn't heard it in a while, so I played it, savoring its shittiness. I thought that would be the end of it and that he'd forget all about it. But that wasn't the case.

Every time we get in the car now, he says, "Play 'Temporary Secretary'!"

I asked him why he liked it so much. He said, "Because it sounds crazy and the guy does funny voices on it!"

I then decided to play him The Beatles' "You Know My Name (Look Up the Number)" since it had the exact same things in it, but was much better to my ears.

I got zero response. What the hell? I first heard that tune when I was five or so and fell in love with The Beatles instantly. But oh, no, let's hear that frigging "Temporary Secretary" again!

I've yet to successfully get him into Trout Mask Replica, but I figure it's only a matter of time.

Bonus podcast episode!

It's Double XP Weekend, which means extra podcast grooves as well. So, just like the last post, head on over to the Camel Ike podcast page for all the details.

Another podcast episode is up!

We're not on life support. We're still here. Or at least, I am. In the meantime, check out the new podcast episode over there at the official Camel Ike podcast page.

Another podcast episode is ALIVE!

Totally forgot to mention that there is a lovely new episode of Camel Ike a Rock E.T. for you to listen to and download, or either/or. So dig it, kids. DIG IT.