Reviews from the Spark Plug - Bowie's David Live and Stage

David Bowie

David Live

Rating: ****

Probably the most infamous Bowie cover shot as it catches him in the act of cutting a fart at the end of "Rebel, Rebel."  I wish I had been there.  I've known some people who were and they said the fart was very audible over the P.A.  As if he wanted to be caught, you know. They said after he did it he kind of smiled and did this twirl and continued along like nothing happened.  But thankfully the music historians and photographer for this album have kept the truth alive.  I wonder what a cocaine fart smells like, and if you can get high from it. 

David Bowie

Stage

Rating: ****

Unlike the cover for David Live, the cover shot for Stage doesn't catch Bowie in the act of farting in front of the audience.  However, as every Bowie fan knows, the picture is a picture of him sweet talking a mother and daughter in the audience between songs (this bit has been infamously clipped from all versions of this album). The transcript of that dialogue is as follows:

Bowie: And how are you two tonight?

Mother: We're great!  So great to finally see you!

Bowie (to daughter): How old is she?

Mother: 17!

Bowie: You know, I've recently been cleaning up (crowd alternately boos and cheers), but one thing that hasn't cleaned up is my naughtiness.  Do you two fancy some "Sweet Thing?"  (crowd goes wild)

Mother and daughter unanimously:  YES!

Bowie: See me after the show then!

A yell of "I wanna fuck you, David!" comes from the audience.  David erroneously hears it as "Fuck you!" and shouts back "Eat it long!"  The band then tears into "Station To Station."

Reviews from the Spark Plug - Bowie's Pin Ups

David Bowie

Pin Ups

Rating: ***

Some friends of mine came over one night.  One brought along this red-haired girl who had some LSD in her compact.  She took a hit while we were all sitting around listening to Sesame Street Fever and playing canasta.  About a half an hour later she starts moaning and shit and says she's going to the bathroom.  Next thing you know she's screaming at us to all come and help her.

So we get into the bathroom thinking she has hurt herself or something.  Nope, she's just staring in the mirror pulling her hair back from her brow and pointing, yelling "Oh my god I'm Bowie on the Pin Ups cover!  Look at that!  Oh my god, I'm Bowie! What am I doing here?  I need to get back to London!"

So she proceeds to step back out into the living room and sings all of "Changes" in a slow croon, then runs outside to "make her flight."  She promptly collapses on the ground.  Before we can get to her to pick her up, the neighbor's dog walks by and pisses on her head. Classic.

Five Epic Tracks That Really Do Need to Be the Length That They Are

Christ, could that title be any longer?  Oh well, you get the drift.  Sometimes artists feel the need to construct really long tunes in an effort to branch out a little more.  Sometimes these longer tracks are worth the effort, and other times they're just an incredible bore (Green Day, I'm looking at you).  At any rate, it looks like we have another list on our hands here.  This time it's all about five long tracks that I like to hear all the way through whenever I hear them.  Note the non-inclusion of Chicago.  I'm sure they'll make one of these lists someday.  Let's groove, shall we?

1. Television - "Marquee Moon"

The studio cut of the tune is over ten minutes.  The classic live versions would get even more epic at times.  This band pretty much solidified its legendary status with the title cut on their debut album.  The knotty main riff mixed with the almost mechanical bass and drum parts which then gives way to a lovely flourish influenced all those crappy defunct math rock bands that failed in the earlier half of this decade.  The lyrics are awesomely weird, but it's that guitar solo that just takes the song into the epic realm.  There's not a note wasted, with each lick building on the next until it all gently tumbles down like a sparkling snowfall before getting back into its locked main groove.  It doesn't matter if the other songs on the album aren't nearly as grand.  How could they be?

2. David Bowie - "Station to Station"

Granted, almost the first two minutes of this track are nothing but the sound of a train coming down its tracks, but the remainder is nothing short of stunning.  Bowie as the Thin White Duke in all his coked-up glory scares the hell out of us with his bizarro tale of the Duke "making sure white stains" and forever throwing those ever-lovin' darts in lovers' eyes.  It's a beast of a track, lumbering along like a giant Panzer, taking out everything with an oddly delicate touch.  But then, Bowie decides to boogie for the second half, and the cocaine kicks in full throttle as the band funks the hell out of the decadence and brings the mother down.  The first time I heard this song, I was literally awestruck.  It's still exciting and phenomenal.  Some live versions, as those found on Stage and the Serious Moonlight video are not too hot, but the recent reissue of Station to Station featuring a second disc of the legendary live show at Nassau Coliseum cooks. 

3. George Benson - "On Broadway"

Benson took this old number and made it his own, which is no small feat, considering the dude had cut tons of classic sides in the '60s alone.  By the '70s, George was moving into different terrain and this live workout from Weekend in L.A. featuring Ralph MacDonald on percussion needs to be heard in its 10 minute glory.  The radio stations always play an edited version a little over five minutes, but there's no denying the satisfying groove laid out here in Benson's licks and scatting, and his band just locking in to the funk and taking it skyward.  It's a tune that's as much of its time and place as "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees or "Peg" by Steely Dan.  To my ears, it's also the best damn version of the song ever recorded.  Sorry, Blossom Dearie.

4. Frank Zappa - "Son of Mr. Green Genes"

"Mr. Green Genes" appeared on the Mothers album Uncle Meat.  When playing the track live, Frank and the band would either eschew the lyrics and do an instrumental groove, or play a more fleshed-out version with more instrumental bits.  What that whole thing morphed into was the wonderful "Son of Mr. Green Genes" on the Hot Rats LP.  It's over eight minutes long, and begins with the familiar melody from the original tune sounding all stately and such before giving way to a slew of amazing Zappa guitar solos.  Whenever people don't tend to "get" Zappa for his guitar work, and are those types who only know him for his "dirtier" stuff from the '70s, I offer them up this track.  Frank's licks and melodies were always like no one else's and here he just lets one killer solo cascade into the next.  The cool thing is that it never comes off as mere wanking, but then when Frank was on the guitar, it never really did.  Hell, he managed to even keep Steve Vai contained and listenable, so that's got to count for something.

5. The Stone Roses - "I Am the Resurrection"

I've talked about this song so many times in other places, so I'll just get to the point.  John Squire's guitar solos in this song are the stuff inspiration is made of.  How anyone could listen to this track and not be moved seems near impossible.  The whole album is a masterpiece, but it all leads up to this one tune (though the US versions always added "Fool's Gold" afterward, which is also an awesome song), this singularly brilliant shining zenith of the Madchester scene.  Had the band not been met with so much legal bunk with their labels after the debut was released, it's hard to even say if they could have even done it again while striking while the iron was still hot.  We know that the miserable Second Coming released eons later was anything but.  But when you've reinvented the wheel once, it's fine to let everyone else have a ride.